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Epic UK: Counterattack 2019

 Post subject: Re: Epic UK: Counterattack 2019
PostPosted: Fri Mar 22, 2019 12:02 pm 
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I used the following scientific method:
-Get bored and paint ork infantry and big gunz
-Get despondent that I have no use for ork infantry or big gunz
-Have kunnin plan and write list that features ork infantry and big gunz
-Try list against Duncan
-Lose horribly
-Submit list anyway
-Remember that IJW will be bringing barrage


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 Post subject: Re: Epic UK: Counterattack 2019
PostPosted: Fri Mar 22, 2019 3:04 pm 
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Did i mention i have 12BP? ;D


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 Post subject: Re: Epic UK: Counterattack 2019
PostPosted: Fri Mar 22, 2019 10:33 pm 
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Tables all set up ready for tomorrow...

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 Post subject: Re: Epic UK: Counterattack 2019
PostPosted: Sat Mar 23, 2019 8:38 am 
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Just a word of warning to everyone; in an attempt to get some form of psychological advantage, today I will mostly be smelling like a hobos jock strap....






(Edit: I've hurt my back so lathered up in Deep Heat this morning!)

See you all in a couple of hours :)


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 Post subject: Re: Epic UK: Counterattack 2019
PostPosted: Sat Mar 23, 2019 9:19 am 
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Don't forget to ask Dan how his journey down was........I'm sure he'll confirm everything went smoothly.........

;)

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 Post subject: Re: Epic UK: Counterattack 2019
PostPosted: Sat Mar 23, 2019 11:40 am 
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Good luck everyone!

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 Post subject: Re: Epic UK: Counterattack 2019
PostPosted: Sat Mar 23, 2019 2:30 pm 
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How is it going?

Updates and photos please!!!!
:)

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 Post subject: Re: Epic UK: Counterattack 2019
PostPosted: Sat Mar 23, 2019 4:24 pm 
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Monkeyboy wrote:
How is it going?

Updates and photos please!!!!
:)



RichardL leading the way with 2 wins so far, Tim currently playing Dan, going into T4...


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 Post subject: Re: Epic UK: Counterattack 2019
PostPosted: Sun Mar 24, 2019 3:10 pm 
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Many people have noted that there have been two Bristol tournaments in quick succession; but only a true gentleman of empathy would read between the lines and appreciate that the recent tournament had little to do with epic, and was in truth a cry for help. Darren is evidently very lonely and misses the banter that only his friends from the north (the true north!) can bring. It was self evident in the fact that he arranged a new venue (not the pub…more on that later) and hadn’t bothered with prizes. Had it not been for that realisation, I would have cancelled when Easyjet made a mistake with my flight and incorrectly booked me on the existent Thursday flight after I had selected it; when they clearly should have realized my wish to travel on Friday and chartered this. Such failings on their part, left me chasing a train on Friday afternoon at a whopping cost – but Darren was evidently desperate, and that is why Epic fans see me a the peoples Champion (yet to be Crowned). Full of grace at my personal sacrifice for friends, I approached the tournament expecting to win most sporting rather than any games.
So game one was Glynn. I knew Glynn was nervous about playing me. He tends to look up to me like an elder step-brother from his fathers previous life, or like a god. It makes the poor lad nervous. Which wholly explains his late arrival. Kindly, to settle his nerves, I put him in the corner where there was no terrain to distract his deployment and worry him. Glynn had a very nice krieg list, which came as a huge surprise. It was a world of horses. Now my Thousand Sons aren’t fans of close combat, and the rough riders are a bit of a pest. So this game was going to be a challenge, especially as I had to keep Glynn’s nervous soothed through buying him coffee, and using macros so he didn’t have to stress over saves. Well the game focused on the centre ground where two cabals faced off against three heavy tanks. Going first on turn three seemed key, and when I got that roll, I assumed that was that. I summoned the lord of change and two lesser demons and my cabal assaulted the super heavy, ineviatbley win that and they would then support the second assault. I would have kindly reduced Glynn’s units so he didn’t have to worry about activations. But cruel fate played a blinder. The Lord of change was hit once, failed both saves and went crit and died. All my shots bounced of the tank and I rolled a 1 and a 2 at resolution. Poor Glynn, evidently unaware tat I was doing all this for his own good, saw the funny side. The game then looked like a world of draw, until my doomwing, kindly deployed to shoot up the artillery on the blitz, s measuring artillery is very stressful, were successful in wiping the guard artillery. This allowed a central cabal to make a run for the blitz, and gave me a 2-0. More importantly though, I felt convinced that Glynn would vote me most sporting, and possibly adopt my surname in honour – as the romans used to do.
Game two was Tim. I have kindly allowed Tim to keep in contention for the championship, and I know he appreciates this. I know Tim worries about the rules, having written many of them, so to help hide the frailties in the TS list, and so to avoid embarrassing him, I forgot that my supreme commander wasn’t reinforced. I think this meant a lot to him. When Richard pointed out my error, he went red, and I think he was close to crying in appreciation – sentimental boob. Tim had gone for the spacemarine air assault and had some poor luck with the orbital barrage and his drop podding devs did little but die. The game was a pretty tense bloodbath, going to turn four. As marines do, he began to bleed out, and seeing this was tough for him, I deliberately rolled a one with an assault that would have killed his BTS and cleared the blitz – I am a rather solid chap. So the game ended a draw. In an act of unparalleled kindness I agreed to a flat draw, its what Gandhi would have tried to do, but Gandhi would have probably not done that and thought more about the championship.
So that set up game three against Darren. I could tell he was over the moon at this. Im pretty sure it made his weekend. Sadly Thousand Sons don’t play that well against speed freaks. Still, as a solid chap, I kindly set about helping Darren out by reducing his activations through a few brutal assaults in the centre ground. Unfortunately Darren had some terrible dice, saving an absolute ton. He wouldn’t take warning from me of the risks and dangers of victory, how the Epic community, driven by an aggressive press would put you on a pedestal and then ban your lists and portray you as a drunk. I am not sure he fully appreciated how my kind efforts to annihilate his army were in truth a form of self sacrifice. I went out of my way to avoid this happening to poor lonely Darren through rallying units in his half to avoid him having to carry the weight of victory and even, graciously, rolled a 6 on three out f the four activation rolls. Eventually a winning draw was all I could do to help him. But I could tell that it wasn’t the game, but the company that mattered to him.
Though we wont be going t anymore Bristol tournaments this year, I may send him a text or two about the other events, just s he’s not too lonely.
A win and two draws, but most importantly most sporting, voted for by people who didn’t even play me but appreciated my subtle efforts to help each of my opponents. However, in a final turn, and in an act of saint like kindness, I asked Darren to tell a kind white lie and not mention all the votes and rather to give the most sporting prize to Horatio. I even asked that he ignored all the votes I received for best painted (though I am not sure if I won that).


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 Post subject: Re: Epic UK: Counterattack 2019
PostPosted: Tue Mar 26, 2019 10:20 pm 
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All results up on the Epic UK site now guys, along with updated championship standings.

Evidently we have been hacked by Fake News spreading Russians, as Dan1314 is showing at the top of the table currently...

Don’t worry, we’ll be right on that folks!


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