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Many people have compared my experience at the Glasgow tournament to that of a another great commander. Of course the natural comparative to Alexander the Great will come up in peoples minds, thoughts turning to statues of an Adonis, but this is inaccurate, historical research has shown Alexander probably looked nothing like the statues / me.
Instead turn your thoughts to Napoleon and the 100 days campaign.
Both of us started in exile. Napoleon in the relative comfort of sun washed Elba, myself in the ignominy of being the most disabused GT winner. Yet we knew we had something to prove to a watching world. The similarities continue in the games.
Game 1 – Quatre Bras Vs Kieran
Kieran was out for some revenge after I had so cruelly destroyed his Skittarri last year (my opponents thirst for revenge is a recurrent theme, just like what poor Bonny had to suffer). We were both playing Eldar, but quite different lists. He had taken Yme-Loc, for which he is deserving of great praise, and faced my more standard Biel Tan. Where his list was heavy in shooting with fire prisms and falcons, mines centred around a Warlock titan. Kieran won the dice off and chose corners. I hate corners, so I was already on the back foot, but I knew I had an advantage in numbers. Like Napoleon I knew if I could bring these numbers to bear / burn enough activations hunkering down like a coward, I would have a free table. I placed most of my force in the centre, leaving my left wing with just a squad of scouts and my right with just a squad of guardians and Falcons. This later appeared like a smart move, but it really was just a case of hiding from his artillery. Still, once his army had bravely marched forward, and I had the table to myself, I realised I could throw the majority of my force on to the right wing with some hefty doubling and trebling, that way if I got to start turn two I could do much damage; and I did, and I did. Unfortunately, I did forget about the point of the game, as I am want to do, and missed the opportunity to kill his BTS which was sitting right next to my warlock, instead stomping out some fire prisms. With the activation loss that he was taken Kieran did will to make a fight off it, breaking two of my falcon hosts and seriously reducing my AA cover, but there was just too much of it to allow his bombers the freedom they needed, and turn three saw him playing cagey in a way that only a Warlock assaults can achieve. Just like Pickett at Quatrs Bras, he looked to save his army for a better day, and I was able to get a 2-0, they shall not pass and defend the flag. Any pleasure I took from this disappeared when I was cruelly drawn my next opponent.
Game 2 – Waterloo vs Tim
My army had one weakness… artillery. I was heavy on infantry and had no webway, so if I was stuck in the open against artillery, I was going to have a bad day. Only one player had lowered themselves to bringing excessive artily. Welling-Tim.
And yes, I drew him, and his space ship and double void spinners.
I can’t claim to have had any chance… I knew he would just sit back in cover and pound my brave blue coated infantry as they marched slowly forward in column, knowing that all he had to do was kill time and break each and every unit. Where Napoleon had to cope with the massive impact of the Old Guard breaking, I had to deal with my entire army breaking, I only had one unit of guardians that made it through all three turns without turning full cheese munching surrender monkey. The battle was divided over two bits of cover in Welling-Tims half, one on each flank (like Hougoumont and La Hay Saint at Waterloo) and both changed hands as the battle flowed. Unfortunately where Napoleon was undone by Marshall Nay charging without support, I was undone by a failure to count the number of scouts in the centre of the board. Thinking Tim had four, and seeing they had two BMs, I sacrificed a squad of Falcons to kill and break them. This would leave his centre open so that my Warlock could smash forward, destroy the artillery and march on to Brussels. Viva the Emperor!
But there was five, and they didn’t break, and the Warlock was left stuck in the middle for round two with a badly barraged army limping behind it. Still, turn two came with an opportunity to engage some guardians, be it in cover and to combined assault one of the much hated artillery pieces.
But it all went tits, After scoring seven hits, one of them titan killer, I only achieved two kills, and saw my Warlock broken and running. If only I hadn’t wasted so many veteran Warlock Titans in the march on Moscow! Things just got worse from there. The warlock remained broken in turn three and Tim really began to concentrate on putting the boot in, breaking and wiping units with an evil smirk. My only consolation was that he was far to busy killing to realise that he had moved off from one of the objectives and so only won 2-0 and not 3, keeping alive my hopes of finishing high.
Game 3 Dancing Queen – vs Dave
Unlike Napoleon, I wasn’t going to allow one defeat send me away, pointed cap in hand, to see out my days fishing and penning a Swedish pop song of my laments. If last year has taught us anything, its that I am morally bankrupt, but if it has taught us two things, then it’s the importance of being determined and fighting for second place. I knew Steve Cole was facing Tim and John Cole would draw, because he’s John Cole, he always draws, he even came close to drawing the bye game.
This left me needing a win against Dave, needing for Tim to win, and needing to win by…….it was like listening to the radio “If Greece beat Hungary by three goals and Scotland win their game by more goals than France score then Scotland qualify….” Worse, I was facing Tau. I have no idea what Tau do, I thought they sang ‘China in your Hand,’ but Dave explained they were like an army of Falcons, but with a range of 75cm. Fortunately, he also explained he was new to playing them as well, so we spent much of the game trying to work out what does what.
Here fate drew me an interesting card, I failed five activations in a row, and with no supreme commander, my army pretty much sat still. Brave chap that he is, Dave charged forward to finish me off, but in truth the silly pointed eared sissy’s were just milling around, polishing their armour and reading Cosmo’. So when turn two came about, I was able to assault and take out all the aggressive units he had moved up, including taking out his BTS. I loved Dave’s aggression, but I’m not sure it suits Tau, they did not have a good day in assaults. I may lend him my Thousand sons for his next tournament so he can enjoy winning assaults when defending, or Guard, they would suit to. – but long story shy, the Tau came dangerously close to being tabled by the mid-way point of turn three and I was left feeling guilty. Not for my own actions and aggressive chasing of a second place finish, but guilty for the monster Tim had made me into. Which is crazy, surely Tim should have felt guilty?
It was a beautiful tournament thanks to both the friendliness of the players, the incredible terrain by John Cole, and the fast (I mean really fast) playing style everyone used, there is a lesson there for future events – get Johns terrain, bring more Northerners, and ban Rob.
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