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Scions of Iron, background
Markconz
 Post subject: Scions of Iron, background
PostPosted: Sun May 13, 2007 1:01 pm 
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Well it is impressive background, and much better than I could do! :)

A couple of things though... to me it seems that the creation of the Scions of Iron chapter which emphasizes vehicles and armour, would make more sense as being an even MORE extreme version of the doctrine of the Iron Hands - ie the more machines (vehicles) the better. So I don't see that the 'hey maybe chopping off our hands thing isn't necessary' clause fits with that.

The other thing is that according to the background, the Iron Hand Clans are already practically chapters in themselves (the Iron Hands don't have companies like other chapters, just clans which are basically independent of each other). Thus just one Clan taking the doctrine to zealous extremes, and growing larger, would be enough to form a new chapter. I would prefer a gradual process of alienation and isolation from other clans driven by increasing zealotry rather than a breakaway plot by a few marines, which seems harder to justify IMHO.

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Markconz
 Post subject: Scions of Iron, background
PostPosted: Sun May 13, 2007 1:19 pm 
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Cool, look forward to be seeing the rest! :)

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The_Real_Chris
 Post subject: Scions of Iron, background
PostPosted: Fri Jul 06, 2007 6:38 pm 
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Got an executive summery? :)

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BlackLegion
 Post subject: Scions of Iron, background
PostPosted: Fri Jul 06, 2007 7:24 pm 
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Very entertaining read imust say :)

But i have some complains:

Errors i found:
- Chapter Monastery should be Fortress Monastery
- IronHands have no Chaplains. Instead they have an amalgam of Techmarine and Chaplain called Iron Fathers.

The way how the chapter created itself i wonder why there didn't broke out a fullfledged war? The Inquisition would know what happened and the Ironhand selmselfes would hunt down their defectors.

I would delete the part where the chapter avoided fighting chaos on the rebellious planet. After allt hey are Space Marines and wouldn't shy away to give chaos a bloody nose. Even if it would mean their own destruction.

Writing fight scenes: Hmm well you want to tell the story of the chapter. Wouldn't be an Index Astartes style be better? You are writing half a novel here with quite some detailed descriptions :) Not that i didn't like it but it is a bit extensive for an Index Astartes.




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Evil and Chaos
 Post subject: Scions of Iron, background
PostPosted: Fri Jul 06, 2007 7:55 pm 
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A few thoughts:


- If noone knows who the Scions of Iron are, yet they're openly admitting to being Iron Hands successors... why havn't the Iron Hands been asked to provide details (And consequentially have the Scions declaired heretics)?


- The Adeptus Mechanicus doesn't set the size of tithes, the Adeptus Munitorum does.

- Provide more details on what 'the secret' is. Is it a better lasgun? A flying Chimera? A better mousetrap?

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Evil and Chaos
 Post subject: Scions of Iron, background
PostPosted: Fri Jul 06, 2007 8:25 pm 
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Just to provide some info on the background. I would assume that the chapters are not that keen to find about each other, so Iron Hands haven't bothered about it. One would assume that each of the originals have more than enough successors.


A split of this magnitude would leave the Iron Hands perfectly happy to hunt down the Scions until the end of time.


There are only 1000 Chapters, it really wouldn't be too hard for anyone with the proper influence to go digging into the Chapter's history, and enquire of the Iron Hands where they came from... then everything would hit the fan in short order...

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