How to make a woman happy... |
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Mojarn Piett
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Post subject: How to make a woman happy...  Posted: Thu Aug 26, 2004 11:55 am |
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Joined: Fri Feb 14, 2003 7:35 am
Posts: 5455
Location: Finland
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I stumbled on these words of wisdom. This has been translated from Finnish and, as I am no professional translator, the native english speakers probably find some translations a bit funny. However, you should get the idea... 
It's not hard to make a woman happy. You'll only have to be...
1. A friend
2. A companion
3. A lover
4. A brother
5. A father
6. A teacher
7. An educator
8. A confessor
10. A cook
11. A mechanic
12. An assembler
13. An electrician
14. A Chauffeur
15. A Porter
16. A Cleaner
17. A butler
18. A hydraulics mechanic
19. A carpenter
20. A model
21. An interior decorator
22. A sexologist
23. A psychologist
24. A psychiatrist
25. A psychotherapist
Traits are also important. You'll only have to be
1. Pleasant
2. Athletic but
3. Intelligent but
4. strong
5. well-mannered but
6. firm but
7. gentle
8. sensitive but
9. determined but
10. romantic but
11. masculine
12. funny and
13. happy but
14. serious and
15. dignified
16. brave but
17. a teddybear but
18. energetic
19. attentive
20. creative
21. full of ideas
22. skillful but
23. modest and
24. understanding
25. elegant but
26. logical
27. warm but
28. cool but
29. passionate
30. tolerant but
31. principled but
32. honorable and
33. noble but
34. practical and
35. pragmatic
36. just but
37. ready to do anything for her (like a bank robbery, for example).
In other words:
38. desperate (out of love for her) but
39. calm
40. charming but
41. steady and
42. faithful
43. attentive but
44. dreamy but
45. ambitious
46. trustworthy and
47. honored
48. ready for sacrifices and, before all
49. have much money
At the same time a man has to be careful
a) not to be jealous but still interested
b) to be on good terms with his family but not give them as much time as to her
c) to give her freedom but also to show that he cares and be interested in where she has been and what she has done
d) to dress elegantly but be ready to carry her on his knees through mud and to go in through the balcony if she has forgotten her keys
or to catch and mug a thief who has stolen her bag which contained such vital things as a mirror and a lipstick.
It is important not to forget
1. her birthday
2. her name day
3. The anniversary
4. the anniversary of your first kiss
5. her period
6. her appointment with a dentist
7. all her other anniversaries
8. the birthday of her best friend and her favourite aunt
Unfortunately even the perfect abiding by the previous rules won't guarantee a success. A woman might tire of the ideal
man, feel dominated by him and run away with the first guitar player she meets.
And now the other side of the coin. It is much harder to make a man happy. This is because a man needs:
1. sex and
2. food.
Most women feel these grandiose demands of men to be tyrannical. To satisfy these needs would go beyond their strength.
Conclusion: A harmonious relationship is easy to achieve when men finally give up their unreasonable demands.
_________________
I don't know and I let who care. -J.S.
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Justiniel
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Post subject: How to make a woman happy... Posted: Thu Aug 26, 2004 12:11 pm |
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Joined: Mon Apr 26, 2004 8:59 am
Posts: 3280
Location: Holywood, Northern Ireland
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vanvlak
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Post subject: How to make a woman happy... Posted: Thu Aug 26, 2004 1:16 pm |
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| Brood Brother |
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Joined: Fri Oct 31, 2003 7:52 am
Posts: 10348
Location: Malta
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I also have to remember to clean my teeth...my wife IS a dentist.:p
Justiniel, not three models, LOTS!
_________________
Back from oblivion (again)?
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netepic
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Post subject: How to make a woman happy... Posted: Thu Aug 26, 2004 2:35 pm |
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Joined: Thu Feb 13, 2003 4:26 pm
Posts: 7016
Location: Southfields, London, England
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All of the womens needs can be sated with enough alcohol and shoes... certain pills can assist as well.
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MaksimSmelchak
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Post subject: How to make a woman happy... Posted: Thu Aug 26, 2004 2:51 pm |
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| Brood Brother |
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Joined: Sun Feb 16, 2003 4:43 pm
Posts: 7258
Location: Sacramento, California, USA
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Don't forget the one important every man here at Epicomms needs:
- She must tolerate my Epic "habit" with a smile and not belittle the fact that I'm a middle-aged man who still loves his toy soldiers...
Shalom,
Maksim-Smelchak.
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netepic
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Post subject: How to make a woman happy... Posted: Thu Aug 26, 2004 3:06 pm |
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Joined: Thu Feb 13, 2003 4:26 pm
Posts: 7016
Location: Southfields, London, England
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Oops - I forwarded that one, and got a VERY sarky reply from a girl I used to know...
I'm very sorry to disappoint you Tom, but a woman needs a lot less than a man.
I most certainly do NOT want a father and a brother in a man, I get enough of that with my father and brother. Men, on the other hand dont just need 5ex and food. That is a total myth. As you have described your ex girlfriend to me and the things she did for you, you will know that a man wants a servant, a mother, a cook, a wh0re, but at the same time shy and submissive in public. I can't be bothered frankly to disagree with the other things that you have written down there, because it would take me all day.
But finally I would like to add that women merely want a great big **EDITED OUT**, and lots of money from a man, a great deal less than a man wants from a woman. And I'm almost certain, you could provide neither.
Oops I almost forgot - if you claim to know so much, when can i meet your wife? |
I think it was mistaken as a serious email....
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Legion 4
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Post subject: How to make a woman happy... Posted: Thu Aug 26, 2004 3:12 pm |
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Joined: Thu Feb 13, 2003 5:13 pm
Posts: 36989
Location: Ohio - USA
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Well that explains it... no wonder...
I guess I'll go to my room and sulk... I'm such a whiner...  
_________________
Legion 4 "Cry Havoc, and let slip the Dogs of War !" ... "People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf."
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dafrca
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Post subject: How to make a woman happy... Posted: Thu Aug 26, 2004 4:44 pm |
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Joined: Thu Feb 13, 2003 6:02 pm
Posts: 10956
Location: Burbank, CA, USA
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| Quote (netepic @ 26 2004 Aug.,07:06) | Oops - I forwarded that one, and got a VERY sarky reply from a girl I used to know...
[Snip Female Tirade]
I think it was mistaken as a serious email.... |
Tom..., Tom..., Tom...
What Chaos spawn caused you to send that to a woman? 
dafrca
_________________
"Every Man is a But Spark in the Darkness"
- Cities of Death, page 59
Come fight me, if you dare...... http://dd-janks.mybrute.com
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netepic
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Post subject: How to make a woman happy... Posted: Thu Aug 26, 2004 5:03 pm |
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Joined: Thu Feb 13, 2003 4:26 pm
Posts: 7016
Location: Southfields, London, England
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I sent it to all my ex's most agreed it was true.... :S. Dammit, maybe I should have read it more thoroughly  .
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primarch
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Post subject: How to make a woman happy... Posted: Thu Aug 26, 2004 10:01 pm |
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Joined: Fri Feb 14, 2003 12:46 am
Posts: 27069
Location: Edmond, Oklahoma USA
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Hi!
No worries Tom, when women respond like that its becuase you hit to close to the truth which is uncomfortable...
...I like pointing things out like that to women too...
...then again being such a wise-ass didnt getting me a whole lot of dates....
Primarch
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iblisdrax
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Post subject: How to make a woman happy... Posted: Thu Aug 26, 2004 11:11 pm |
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Joined: Mon Oct 13, 2003 10:54 pm
Posts: 3381
Location: First star to the right, and straight on till morning.
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Good stuff! Course, I gave up on most of it a long time ago. And, no matter how perfect you are, a woman needs something to pick at you about, so why not give her something easy?  My theory, anyway.
my 2cents,
iblisdrax
_________________
"Have Leman Reuss, will travel"
"Hallo. My name is Indigo Montoya. You killed my father prepare to die!"
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CyberShadow
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Post subject: How to make a woman happy... Posted: Fri Aug 27, 2004 12:42 am |
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| Swarm Tyrant |
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Joined: Thu Jan 02, 2003 6:22 pm
Posts: 9350
Location: Singapore
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| Quote (Mojarn Piett @ 26 2004 Aug.,11:55) | Unfortunately even the perfect abiding by the previous rules won't guarantee a success. A woman might tire of the ideal
man, feel dominated by him and run away with the first guitar player she meets.
And now the other side of the coin. It is much harder to make a man happy. This is because a man needs:
1. sex and
2. food. |
Oh how so very true!
I believe that the second part of this quote is often translated as 'Ways to please a man: Turn up naked. Bring beer.'_________________ https://www.cybershadow.ninja - A brief look into my twisted world, including wargames and beyond. https://www.net-armageddon.org - The official NetEA (Epic Armageddon) site and resource.
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primarch
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Post subject: How to make a woman happy... Posted: Fri Aug 27, 2004 3:17 am |
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Joined: Fri Feb 14, 2003 12:46 am
Posts: 27069
Location: Edmond, Oklahoma USA
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Hi!
I believe that the second part of this quote is often translated as 'Ways to please a man: Turn up naked. Bring beer.'
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Words women should live by!
We arent hairier, cruder forms of women. We are MEN! Different in every regard and with few and very direct needs.
I dont want to talk about my feelings, I dont want to be held when I cry nor do I wish to be "cuddly".
I am a MAN!
Chauvanistic? Perhaps.
But like Popeye, "I am what I am"...
...and I'm not apologetic about it...
...nor do I permit the fairer sex or society to castrate me... 
Primarch
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