Tactical Command
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Tweaking the fluff for the Stingray
http://www.tacticalwargames.net/taccmd/viewtopic.php?f=23&t=6835		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  Lion in the Stars [ Sun Jul 16, 2006 7:44 am ]
Post subject:  Tweaking the fluff for the Stingray
OK, guys.  I know I wrote the fluff for the Lionfish, but it just doesn't read the same as the rest of the unit descriptions.  Too much Real-LifeĀ™ military technical talk, not enough 40k-ness.

I'd like to change the fluff from:
After the Damocles Gulf Crusade, the Tau?s contact with former Imperial forces led them to consider the development of a non-line-of-sight and beyond-line-of-sight weapon to break up the waves of Orks rampaging through the sector after the Imperial/Tau ceasefire. A single large warhead, similar to the simple shell used by Earthshaker Cannons, was considered, but was determined to be less effective than a modified Seeker Missile, with a large number of Smart Missiles loaded into the payload bay.
The resulting weapon was first fielded on modified Skyray Air Defence Tanks. The first field tests were promising, but revealed shortcomings in the vehicles used for the test. First among these was the sheer size of the new missile, making it extremely dependent on resupply in an extended battle. A new turret was developed to carry more missiles, which also required changes to the basic hull (reducing armor to allow the unit to keep up with Devilfish and Hammerhead formations). This new version was significantly less dependent on resupply during battle, and the larger turret allowed refinements to the missile itself, increasing the number of Smart Missile submunitions.
to:
After the Damocles Gulf Crusade, the Tau?s contact with the abandoned Imperial forces led them to consider the development of a long-range weapon to break up the waves of Orks rampaging through the sector after the Imperial/Tau ceasefire. A cluster warhead, similar to the sophisticated shell used in Railguns, was considered initially, but was determined to be less effective against troops in cover than a number of Smart Missiles loaded into the payload bay.
The resulting weapon was first fielded on modified Skyray Air Defense Tanks. The first field tests were promising, but revealed several shortcomings. First among these was the sheer size of the new missile, which greatly limited the number of missiles carried. A new turret was developed to carry more missiles, which also required changes to the basic hull (reducing armor to allow the unit to keep up with Devilfish and Hammerhead formations). This new version was capable of providing supporting fire for an extended period of time, and the larger turret allowed refinements to the missile itself, increasing the number of Smart Missile submunitions in each missile.

What do you think?
Author:  Lion in the Stars [ Mon Jul 17, 2006 8:50 pm ]
Post subject:  Tweaking the fluff for the Stingray
CS, any comments?

Bueller?


Bueller?
Author:  Lord Inquisitor [ Mon Jul 17, 2006 9:42 pm ]
Post subject:  Tweaking the fluff for the Stingray
Highlighting the changes in the second paragraph in, say, red would help understanding your changes a lot!

Excuse me if I'm ignorant in the ways of the Tau (more of a Malleus man than a Xenos, myself), but I wasn't aware that the Railguns used cluster warheads?

Aside from agreeing that comparisons should be made against other tau weapons than the Earthshakers - unless the tau are actually getting the idea from the imperials - I don't really see why you've made the changes you have, they seem largely cosmetic to me, if you say why you've made these changes it would help.

Lord =I=
Author:  Lion in the Stars [ Tue Jul 18, 2006 6:27 am ]
Post subject:  Tweaking the fluff for the Stingray
Hmmmm... The system isn't letting me edit my post.  Odd.  CS, are you looking into this?

Back On-topic:

You're right, the changes are cosmetic.  Do you know the difference between Non-Line of Sight, and Beyond LOS?  How many other people know the difference?  Most of us could guess, but why make someone guess what we mean in flavor text?  From a purely aesthetic point of view, the original flufftext doesn't read like the others.  It should read similarly, it'll make the list look more professional and complete.

All those changes are for similar reasons.  FWiW, the reason Hammerhead railguns have an AP value (in E:A) is that they have a S6AP4 Large blast effect in 40k, from a cluster munition.
Author:  CyberShadow [ Fri Aug 04, 2006 11:18 am ]
Post subject:  Tweaking the fluff for the Stingray
Hi. The editing issue has now been resolved and you should be able to go back and change your post.

This edit refers to the Stingray text...?
(The Lionfish is no more... although I really liked the little guy!)

I am happy with the change to the text, although I agree that it is mostly cosmetic while making things a little clearer.

I will add this to the 'resolved' pile of stuff.
Author:  Lion in the Stars [ Sun Aug 06, 2006 12:25 am ]
Post subject:  Tweaking the fluff for the Stingray
CS, at the time I wrote the Fluff, that little artillery tank was called the Lionfish.  Then came the 'Fish outcry', and the name was changed.

Also, if something doesn't read quite right, feel free to change it.  My biggest beef with the Stingray's fluff is that it simply doesn't read like the other unit's fluff.  Any changes to that would be a big improvement.
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