Lessons for Life |
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Tas
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Post subject: Lessons for Life  Posted: Mon Nov 24, 2003 1:41 am |
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Joined: Thu Mar 06, 2003 10:01 am
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Location: Sydney, NSW
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Hi Guys,
Found one of those pass around emails waiting for me this week. Of particular note is number 3....( the "primarchload" comes readily to mind!) and some people need to be reminded of number 7 at times too!
Enjoy!
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THINGS THAT IT TOOK ME OVER 50 YEARS TO LEARN: By Dave Barry
1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."
3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
5. You should not confuse your career with your life.
6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
7. Never lick a steak knife.
8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby.
11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.
12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.
13. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.
14. Your friends love you anyway.
15. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.
16. Men are like a fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the poo out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.
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Tas
My General blog: http://tasmancave.blogspot.com/
My VSF Blog: http://pauljamesog.blogspot.com/
My ECW Blog: http://declaresir.blogspot.com/
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primarch
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Post subject: Lessons for Life Posted: Mon Nov 24, 2003 2:33 am |
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Joined: Fri Feb 14, 2003 12:46 am
Posts: 27069
Location: Edmond, Oklahoma USA
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Hi!
17.The saying "money isn't everything in life", is usually uttered by people who have a LOT of it....
I'm sure this may turn out to be a rather long thread......
Primarch
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Mojarn Piett
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Post subject: Lessons for Life Posted: Mon Nov 24, 2003 8:34 am |
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Joined: Fri Feb 14, 2003 7:35 am
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Location: Finland
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18. The difference between women and men is that a woman expects one man to fulfill her every need. A man expects every woman to fulfill his one need. Or something like that; I read this in Finnish and I am not much of a translator.
And a little something which, IMO, should be added to the above: And a woman expects her every need to be fulfilled BEFORE she even briefly considers fulfilling the man's one need... 
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I don't know and I let who care. -J.S.
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Chris
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Post subject: Lessons for Life Posted: Mon Nov 24, 2003 8:39 am |
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Joined: Wed Jan 15, 2003 6:42 pm
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19. Don't eat yellow snow
Chris
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Chris
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stormseer
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Post subject: Lessons for Life Posted: Mon Nov 24, 2003 2:25 pm |
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Joined: Fri Feb 14, 2003 9:52 pm
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Location: Suffolk, UK.
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*sings "Never touch yellow snow, not even with a ten-foot pole..." ...from a slightly obscure song.... anyone know who's? 
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www.darkrealmminiatures.com
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Legion 4
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Post subject: Lessons for Life Posted: Mon Nov 24, 2003 5:27 pm |
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Joined: Thu Feb 13, 2003 5:13 pm
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Location: Ohio - USA
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Frank Zappa !? In the 70s, he had a song about Yellow Snow ! 
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Legion 4 "Cry Havoc, and let slip the Dogs of War !" ... "People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf."
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vanvlak
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Post subject: Lessons for Life Posted: Mon Nov 24, 2003 10:31 pm |
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Joined: Fri Oct 31, 2003 7:52 am
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Location: Malta
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22 Buildan Orka Landa Day
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Back from oblivion (again)?
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Chris
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Post subject: Lessons for Life Posted: Mon Nov 24, 2003 10:54 pm |
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Joined: Wed Jan 15, 2003 6:42 pm
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23. You should aim to try everything in life, except incest and barn dancing (Where in Texas you can have both on the same night...)
Sorry to any Texans present, but it wouldn't have the same effect without 
Cheers
Chris
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Chris
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primarch
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Post subject: Lessons for Life Posted: Tue Nov 25, 2003 1:56 am |
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Joined: Fri Feb 14, 2003 12:46 am
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Location: Edmond, Oklahoma USA
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Hi!
A spin off from Chris quote...
24. Aim low in life, so low that if you achieve or fail, no one will care....
Primarch
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Xavi
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Post subject: Lessons for Life Posted: Tue Nov 25, 2003 3:16 am |
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Location: University of Essex, Colchester, UK (soon to be Brighton, Sussex, UK)
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Yup, frank zappa it was. Quite a twisted dude. Amusing as hell. I still laugh my ass off when I hear about Evelyne, the modifyed dog 
25. Never try to look cool when drunk. You will simply mess around. it is better to make the drunkard when you are sober so you can do a lot of weird stuff like assaulting your female mates and have an excuse for it while enjoying the experinece
26. Do not mix a shot of whisky with vodka
27. Four Roses is FORBIDDEN to be mixed with ANYTHING since it is considered heresy and punished with a sex-free lifelong existence.
I have a friend that is an expert at 25. 26 is advise, 27 is an honour code
Cheers,
Xavi
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Commanding legions forward while sitting in a nice armchair.
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Legion 4
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Post subject: Lessons for Life Posted: Tue Nov 25, 2003 5:50 am |
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Joined: Thu Feb 13, 2003 5:13 pm
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Location: Ohio - USA
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Zappa named his kids, Moon Unit and Dweezl ... no ... really ! 
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Legion 4 "Cry Havoc, and let slip the Dogs of War !" ... "People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf."
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Chris
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Post subject: Lessons for Life Posted: Tue Nov 25, 2003 9:48 am |
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| Quote (Legion 4 @ 25 2003 Nov.,04:50) | | Zappa named his kids, Moon Unit and Dweezl ... no ... really ! |
Doesn't that count as crewlty to children?
Cheers
Chris
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Chris
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Legion 4
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Post subject: Lessons for Life Posted: Tue Nov 25, 2003 5:21 pm |
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Location: Ohio - USA
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One had a show on MTV ! ?And both have been on TV and in a movie or two ... ?very cruel ! ?
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Legion 4 "Cry Havoc, and let slip the Dogs of War !" ... "People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf."
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Chris
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Post subject: Lessons for Life Posted: Tue Nov 25, 2003 9:40 pm |
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| Quote (Legion 4 @ 25 2003 Nov.,16:21) | | One had a show on MTV ! |
Now lets be honest...it doesn't take much to get a show on MTV nowadays! Look at things like Jackass, Osbournes and Dirty Sanchez...Not much talent goes into making these shows, but one hell of a lot of laughs come out of it!
Cheers
Chris
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Chris
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