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Here's something I found in my mailbox the other day...
Every time a church bell rings, Mr. T pities a fool.
Mr. T doesn?t pity anyone who likes the Black Eyed Peas. He just kills them.
Mr. T speaks only when necessary. His main form of
communication is folding his arms and slowly shaking
his head. And regardless of the situation, he is
always understood.
Mr. T pities fools because even fools deserves their
daily dose of vitamin T.
Mr.T once punched Chuck Norris at the exact moment
he
roundhouse kicked Mr.T in the chest. the result was
the 80?s.
Mr. T invented fools. Realizing the magnitude of his
folly, he then created Pity.
Yoda had two sons. To one he taught pity, to the
other
he gave the gift of the beard.
23. That?s the number of people Mr. T has pitied in
the time it has taken you to read this sentence.
Despite popular belief, Mr. T in fact ended the
civil
rights movement by getting on a bus....all caucasian
people moved to the back.
On the A-team, Face , Haniabal, and Murdoch were all
masters of disguise. Mr T didn?t have to wear a
disguise. The bad guys didn?t recognize him out of
fear.
Mr. T once shook hands with Chuck Norris, or so it
appeared, in actuality, their combined power caused
an
earthquake, which gave their hands a look of shaking
to any onlookers, who were probably too scared to
accurately testify anyway.
Mr. T coined the phrase, "I see dead people," after
the waiting staff at Denny?s forgot his birthday.
There are only four horsemen of the apocalypse,
because Mr. T is going to walk.
Mr. T?s mother didn?t breast feed him. He milked
her.
Mr. T can rip a phonebook in half with his bare
testicles.
Mr. T is allergic to doorknobs. That?s why he can
only
kick through doors.
Mr. T?s pity for fools is used by mathematicians as
a
demonstration of the concept of infinity.
Mr. T once bit off more than he could chew. He ate
it
anyway.
Mr. T?s edition of the VH1 show ?Where Are They Now?
was the shortest in the show?s history. It was 10
seconds long, and consisted of a black screen with
the
words "Right Behind You" written on it.
Mr. T. does not break wind. He destroys it.
Mr. T skis uphill.
The last time Mr. T went to McDonald?s, Ronald
McDonald greeted him. What occured next proved to be
the most violent beating of a clown ever recorded in
human history.
Behind every great man, there is a great woman.
Behind
that woman is Mr. T.
It took five women 2 years to give birth to Mr. T.
Mr. T puts the laughter in manslaughter.
Mr. T once pitied the sun. An ice age followed.
Mr. T was fired from the Psychic Friends Network for
always predicting pain.
Despite popular belief, if there is a fool in the
woods, and nobody is around to hear his jibba jabba,
Mr. T is still able to pity him.
Mr. T once rocked the Casbah. Which explains why
there
is no longer a Casbah.
Mr. T took Mother Nature from behind. We refer to
the
event as the Big Bang.
_________________
Sofa General
Nobody expects the Inquisition!!!
http://theepiclounge.wordpress.com/
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